Choosing a sex for herms

Over the weekend I was with some friends and family and the grandfather brought up that one of their relatives was born a hermaphidite and was given a sex.  I forgot the details. I commented that it occurs more often than most people think and the grandmother responded "I don't even want to know," almost out of horror or that the issue is too private to talk about.  I then mentioned that the parents should have let the child choose later on and my friend responded something like it would be easier for the child to choose for them and spare them all the fuss associated with being out of place.  It never even crossed her mind that the baby could just be the way he/she was born to be.  When people are so endoctrined and socialized, how do we make them step outside the bubble?

~ John